A search for truth …

I am the sort of person that questions things. I like to analyse what ever life throws at me whether it be a film, novel, play scientific theory or everyday life. That's just the way I am. Given this information it is probably not surprising that I have contemplated the big question 'The meaning of life ?' as most of us do at some point in our lives.

I was about 21 when I decided to wrestle in earnest with the big question and the catalyst for this was meeting up with an old school friend who was a christian. He and I got talking about the big issues of life, and I became intrigued by his perspective. This led to regular get togethers where we explored lots of topics, listened to audio tapes of sermons and I bombarded my friend with never ending questions/objections for his beliefs. All sounds a bit dull and studious but it wasn't, it was more like a journey of discovery. The audio sermons weren't boring like you might expect but were amusing or challenging, sometimes both. We kept dipping into his Bible when we were discussing my questions, which made me view this book differently. I had thought of it as a sacred book that you probably would not open much because the pages themselves were somehow sacred, but my friend had highlighted text in ink !!! He seemed to view it as a manual for living and as we explored more I could see why. This period of searching continued for a long time and I realised that I was agreeing more and more with the christian beliefs of my friend. However there came a point when I realised that if I was being honest with myself, I fully accepted that Jesus Christ was the answer to lifes big questions, and that I had a decision to make. Did I keep trying to raise new reasons why not to accept Jesus or accept the truth and become a follower of Jesus ? The two things that were holding me back were not philisophical but were as follows:- 1. I did not want to switch my brain off and leap into a blind faith where I could no longer use my mind and 2. I new that if I accepted Jesus and Christianity it would make demands of me and change my values. The issues got resolved because I realised that my mind (such as it is) was God given and that if I followed Jesus it did not prevent me from using it. The second point was resolved because I realised deep down that Jesus Christ was the ultimate Truth and I could not pretend to myself that it was not the case. I would just have to accept the consequences of following Jesus.

It was like putting a jigsaw puzzle together and having the final piece in your hand but needing to take the step of placing it correctly to complete the picture. This I did quietly one evening on my own by praying to God to forgive my wrong doing and expressing my honest desire to follow Him. The next day I told my friend and he was very pleased. In the years that have followed many things have happened to me, some good, some awful, but I never regret making that decision and I am grateful to my friend for taking me on that search for truth. As for the jigsaw of life, over the years I have discovered my picture is not complete after all and that I am still trying to fit pieces in. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't but I am sure of one thing… the person in the picture is definitely Jesus.